the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize