At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
