I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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