Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
