i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
