I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
