NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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