So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
