I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
