You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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