My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
