is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
