She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
