Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
