I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
