that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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