mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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