Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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