summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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