Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I cut my penus on the lid.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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