when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
