dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
