I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
