dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize