He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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