3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
