I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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