me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
