I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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