i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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