god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
