I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
