For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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