I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
