Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
