We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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