Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
