All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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