why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
