New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
