I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
