I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize