im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I currently don't understand fingers.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
