so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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