You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
