He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm always down for nudity.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
