The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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