There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
