I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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