I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
