I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize