The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
