Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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