So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
