I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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