It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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