A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
