What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
