I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
