he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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