just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
