I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
