Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just tell him i said nine months
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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