Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
